On being 25 and living with parents

It causes me little shame in proclaiming that I am 25 and like many others who fall in the same age group and nationality as mine, I live with my parents.
In the UK almost a third of men and a fifth of women aged between 20 and 34 live at home with their parents, according to a survey conducted by the Office for National Statistics in 2009. In the US more and more young adults are known to prefer staying home citing recession as the main reason. Although, mine is a different saga, I just gave up a high paying job for something that pays me a twelve year old's weekly allowance every month:

Being 25 and living with parents has its perks and shortfalls, both so inextricably intertwined and mutually inclusive that when it finally comes to moving out, things tend to become difficult because you try to figure out whether moving out, after all is that good an idea. You're torn between all the great 'home' things you'll miss and the uncollared freedom of living alone.

So, perks first:

1) No rent. Yes, no rent and no electricity or mortgage payment either. Its all taken care of on time and so are the telephone bills. Also during summers, the central air conditioning and in the winters, mom covering you up at night when your blanket slips away.

2) Transportation. Again, no shame here either. I am not allowed to have a bike and my driving skills are err...better left undiscussed. Therefore, sole solution at hand is dad's car.

3) Food. As much of it as you like and often, how you like it too. This aspect alone justifies it all. Our cook transcends all superlatives and when mom joins forces, it raises the waters in my eyes and tongue alike!

4) Dad's wardrobe. This may not hold true for a lot of you but for those like me who have a rather old school-ish sense of dressing, dad's vast wardrobe can come in handy more often than never.

5) Club visits. Now the luxuries. Every visit to the club/clubs for 'a drink' gets debited to your dad's membership account while your's lay untouched for ever. So even if its for a relaxing massage or a scented steam bath or even a trip to the sauna, its covered.

6) The social-angle. Such attendances often prove to be more lucrative than one can imagine. In such parties, every so often someone shows up and introduces his/her pretty, nubile daughter/s to your parents and you stand there pretending not to have been noticed till you too are summoned and introduced. Whether you can take things further from there shall subsequently establish whether you really are a gameless loser or just a loser, you know, the garden variety.

And now, for a more realistic appreciaition, the shortcomings;

1) The ubiquitous in-time. Even if the gig kicks off at 10.00 pm, you have to report to base by 10.30. No two ways about it. Any act of defiance shall meet with phsychotically repetitive calls on your phone and possible deprivation of dinner.

2) No alcohol policy. Many a chilly winter evening have I approached my Scotch sipping old man seeking a drop or two of that spangling golden decadence and instead received a discource on alcoholism and palpable signs of 'alcoholic inclinations' in me. He would base all of his apprehensions on that half a peg of Scotch he had administered to me some six months ago.

3) Constant criticism and comparisons with people. Leave this to the professionals. Irrespective of subject matter, time and place my mother reserves the ability to turn on and off the tap with great deftness each time.

4) "You have terrible dressing sense"
"Why are your trousers hanging so low?"
"Tuck that shirt, TUCK that shirt!!"
"NO, no fast bikes"
"Its impolite to fart so loudly, you'll scare grandma..go find a corner"
"Dont sneeze so loudly, you're giving me an aneurysm"
"Always look left then right then left then right before crossing the road"
"You have no common sense"
"Why is there a folder full of girly videos in my E-Drive, why are they ALL topless?"
"Peanuts are fattening"
"Coconuts are fattening"
"Cold water is fattening"
"Eat your veggies else no muttonm for you"
"Wear your grandpa's sweater, you look so handsome in it, for MY sake"
"Why dont you wear those chaddis(underpants) that I got you last month, so what if they are red and pink in colour and have cartoon characters on them?"
"Did you really have to say that to Mr Sengupta, is this what we have taught you, is this how you treat your parents?"
"You call that a haircut, you look like a POW?"
"Go to sleep, what are you doing up so late? Its 10.30 pm for God's sake!"
"What is this trash you're listening to? Why is he screaming so loudly?"
"When I was a young man........."
"When your grandpa was a young man...."
"You'll never get a girlfriend"
"CHEW your food"
"Eat with your mouth shut, dont be uncouth"
"Why do you sleep with your mouth open?"
"Why was you mouth shut tonight?"
"Wear these rings, they'll bring you good fortune"
"My son, you have screwed up your life"
"You ate all the grapes? Use the other bathroom tomorrow"
"Why is your face bloated? I hope you are not doing drugs"
"You are putting on way too much weight"

Till about five years back such admonitions would have been justified on the basis that their subject was not matured enough to make his own decisions and lacked judgment. Now, it causes exhasperation.

Nevertheless, this is not meant to be a rant, just my take on living with one's folks. Yes, I am writing this after a lost fight with my parents over a late night movie plan with my colleagues at work.