ATM Pirates & Meditators

No, they may not always be stupid. I smell maleficence most of the time.
He hangs around the corner sneakily, waiting till you disembark from your vehicle and head towards the ATM. Just before you reach for the door handle he swoops in for the kill. About a millisecond before your hand touches the cold metal of the door handle he inserts his card inside the slot from underneath your armpit unlocking the door quickly, smiles a teethy one and slips in with vulpine ease through the ajared door and you’re left standing outside, wondering how someone could have pulled that off considering you were less than six inches away from the ATM door!

I call them ATM pirates. Loserly lowlifes. Although they may not eye your wallet or make a go at your bag (although I am not entirely ruling out such a possibility by their kind) their conduct is no less repulsive.

There is another category of ATM users that I abhor. The ‘meditator’, the ‘ATM procrastinator’ is what I like to call such individuals. These people stand before the machine and get lost in deep contemplation. Even though the screen flashes as simple a question as, ‘Would you like a receipt for your transaction?’ with an option of YES or NO, the object of my utter frustration will stand right there, index finger on chin, ruminating, contemplating the deeper implications of answering that question, like the existence of him, his family and possibly the whole of humanity depended on his answer.

It’s completely justified to take a minute or two to decide how much money needs to be withdrawn or to recall the PIN code, but it’s utterly unacceptable to indulge in self-reflection and profound thought, especially when there are others waiting in a long queue outside.

ATM meditator, if you’re reading this, make up your mind beforehand on how much money you would want to withdraw for starters, then recollect the PIN and decide whether you need the receipt before entering the ATM. Also, take all the cash out in bulk, then divide it and tuck it in any corner, fold or inbuilt pocket of your under pant that your heart desires (after giving due consideration to the fact that people are watching). DO NOT withdraw in installments and then take forever to decide where to hide them each time.

You are an annoying pestilence, thats what you are!