As my skills on the instrument ebb everyday something insidious, sinister, like a cancer chews on me from within. I can never give it the sort of time, dedication it demands. Standing at the brink of something great I fear to leap in. Knowing fully well what needs to be done to give me that extra edge over others I falter repeatedly. And I do not speak only about my instrument when I say the above.
I cannot put my finger on the source of this strange lack of motivation, this lethargy. Maybe there are bigger things at play here, things that have metamorphasized me from a happy guy into a reclusive octogenarian.
I really need to sort things out, to talk to someone, someone who'd have answers.
Its amusing how someone who spent most of his days listening to other's problems for hours, now has noone to talk to about his own issues.
Anybody out there who'd lend me an ear? anybody with answers? anybody at all?